Monday, 8:30 am
LOVE OF MY LIFE: Bye! See you tonight! (Exits)
ME (taking a shower): ♪ Ladadi la diladi… ♪
[Phone rings]
ME (dripping water and soap on the floor): Yes?
LOVE OF MY LIFE: Did I leave my keys on the table?
ME (seeing them just in front of me): Yep.
LOVE OF MY LIFE: Oh, okay. Thanks. (Hangs up)
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Tuesday, 8:30 am
SUNLIGHT OF MY DAYS: Bye! See you tonight! (Exits)
ME (taking a shower): ♪ Doodidoodidoo wap wap… ♪
[Phone rings]
ME (dripping water and soap on the floor): Hmmm?
SUNLIGHT OF MY DAYS: Did I leave my office access key on the sofa?
ME (checking): No… Wait… Ah, yes, under the sofa.
SUNLIGHT OF MY DAYS: Oh, okay. Can you please read me the number printed on it, so I can key it in on the digital lock?
ME: Sure…
SUNLIGHT OF MY DAYS: Thanks! (Hangs up)
ME (returning to the shower): Where were we… Ah, yes. ♪ Doo… Wap! Wap! Doo… Wap! Wap!… ♪
[Phone rings again.]
ME (having nearly tripped on the drenched and soapy floor): Yeees?
SUNLIGHT OF MY DAYS: Are you sure about the number? Because it doesn’t work…
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Wednesday, 8:30 am
DELICATE PETAL OF BEAUTY: Bye! See you tonight! (Exits)
ME (taking a shower): ♪ Tadadadaaaaaaam… ♪
[Different phone rings]
ME: Uhhhh? (Sprinkles water everywhere, but finally finds the phone under a pile of stuff) Hello?
DELICATE PETAL OF BEAUTY: Oh, it’s you. I was wondering where I had left my phone. OK, byyyyyye… (Hangs up)
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Thursday, 8:30 am
ROSE-SCENTED LOKOUM OF MY HEART: Bye! See you tonight! (Exits)
ME (taking a shower): ♪ Ta… dadi, dadaaa, dadada… ♪
[Phone rings]
ME (in a puddle of water): Allooooo?
ROSE-SCENTED LOKOUM OF MY HEART: Have you seen my credit card? I can’t find it today, I’m afraid I might have left it at the restaurant yesterday.
ME: OK, will have a look… (fumbles everywhere for 10 minutes) No, sorry, can’t see it.
ROSE-SCENTED LOKOUM OF MY HEART: Sh**. Okay, thanks. (Hangs up)
ME (concludes his shower, puts his clothes on, gets a coffee in the kitchen, opens the fridge to find some milk… Takes his mobile phone and dials): Hey… Got your credit card here. Did you spend it until it was red-hot, yesterday?
ROSE-SCENTED LOKOUM OF MY HEART: Errrr… Maybe… Why?
ME: ‘might explain why it was in the fridge.
#
Friday, 8:30 am
CHOCOLATE-COVERED SUGARPLUM WITH A CORE OF NOCCIOLA OF MY HAPPINESS: Bye! See you tonight! (Exits)
ME (taking a shower): ♪ Dum, dumdum, dum dum dum dum duuuuuum dumdum… ♪
[Phone rings]
ME (taking a shower): Oh, screw it, today I’m not answering.
[10 minutes later, dials up… no answer.]
ME (composing a text message): “Hey, why did you call?”
[10 minutes later, in the office:]
ME (checking his phone — no answer — then writing an email): “Why did you call this morning?”
[In the evening, still no answer]
ME (calling): Hey, why did you call this morning?
CHOCOLATE-COVERED SUGARPLUM WITH A CORE OF NOCCIOLA OF MY HAPPINESS: Oh! Yes — just to ask you to tell the cleaning lady NOT to throw away the black bag I left in the entrance — it’s not garbage, it’s important documents.
ME (checking the — perfectly empty — entrance): Ah…
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[Disclaimer: any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.]
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